"Hi, I'm a Mac."

"And I'm a PC."

The corded fabric was cool and dry to my hands as I drew smoothly.  The silver blade described a narrow arc.  He screamed as it entered his lung, then grew silent as his body spasmed.  The other was running already, so leaving my blade in the corpse, I cast my left hand outward.  The dagger was a little off-center, but sunk over an inch into his skull.  He vomited reflexively and toppled gracelessly, coming to rest in a lifeless heap. 

I was alone with the smell, and the leaking corpse at my side painted my shoes.

"And I am death, destroyer of worlds," I said in the silence.

[03:41] moritheil: I have a brilliant idea.
[03:41] moritheil: I will make an RPG where you cast divination spells by trading away bits of your faith in humanity.

Quick, is this a grammatically correct sentence?

"Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

Continue reading →

Put out.*

*Disclaimer: only works on a very small fraction of the population.  Past performance not indicative of future results.  Consult your therapist, lawyer, religious authority, or spook regarding possible unwanted consequences.

A bit of context: A__Beautiful__Disaster's 25-paragraph dissertation (!) has the same title. The advice there is not so simple.

The Truax was written as a rebuttal of Dr. Seuss's The Lorax.  It portrays an environmentalist "guardian of the trees" as woefully misinformed and casts timber industry workers in a heroic light.  It was, not coincidentally, paid for entirely by lumber interests.

The fact that it exists is very amusing, but does it really work as a childrens' book?

[17:38] moritheil: We wasted like 20 minutes waiting for him to work up the nerve to go in and talk to her.
[17:39] onlyfr33b33: ROFLMAO
[17:39] onlyfr33b33: and thennnnn?
[17:39] moritheil: Finally I was like, "Man, not to be rude, but I need to get going.  Decide one way or another."
[17:39] moritheil: And we left.

Panting, restless, he took up the chase.  Her trail was not evident, and he was casting about for some means of finding her, when there! In the distance, he saw her telltale shirt!  Hurriedly following, he just managed to catch sight of her entering a building.  Yes, he saw her go into another restaurant . . . and it was there that he ground to a halt.

To be continued . . .

Naturally once we knew what had transpired, this could not be simply allowed to pass.  We began to jeer at him, encourage him, and generally egg him on.  The topic of conversation had actually been relationships and his present lack of one, so the setting was perfect for inducing him to action.  After some uproar, this fellow ran out to pursue her, hot on the trail.

To be continued . . . 

It came to pass, as I was eating lunch with some friends and their friends, we were treated to a most curious series of events.  One fellow kept looking out the window at passing girls.  Suddenly there was some disturbance, and the men became very animated.  It was several minutes before this was sorted out, but when it was, these were the facts:  This gentlemen had made eye contact with several objects of his desire.  This was uneventful until one girl apparently came up behind me and lifted up her breasts at him, as if to underscore the point.  She then laughed and continued on her way.

To be continued . . .