February 12, 2011
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Mori does dating 23: Honesty
Was it wrong for me to say this? (about a guy !!)?
my friend thinks my crush likes me and all, so a month ago, she brought ME up saying that i was awesome, funny, and really pretty. she said he got red, flush in the face and looked almost embarrassed and was smiling and didnt even look at her and instead looked at his register (we work in a grocery store).and then a couple of days ago, my friend again is working with him and she kept on bringing ME up in conversation..like “aww. shes so cute” stuff like that. and i guess she said that he kept smiling really big, got really shy about it, got all smiley and stuff, and was pink (blushing).
so why would he react this way? does he like me? a couple of montths ago, when we were all alone outside at work, he hugged me and was smiling so big and then he wouldnt let go of one of our hugs and he smiled down at me and kissed me on the cheek.so just yesterday, he walked me out to my car in the freezning cold during his break and we chilled in my car and talked a bit. and he asked me for a hug and as we separated, he kissed me and we made out for a bit and then we stopped and he had this smile on his face when he said “im warm noww” and then he said he had to go so he like stood up in the car and leaned to kiss me again which we did and we separated but i could tell he still wanted to kiss me so with a smile/laugh i was like “thats enough”. he didnt seem bothered by it and just smiled and left.
so was it wrong for me to say that? and also, do u think he geniuely likes me?
thankss.The answer to your first question is always no.
In school, there is a very clear and impersonal “wrong” or “right” answer for many topics. But in dating, what matters is not simple mathematical truth like 2+2=4, but rather, what is right and best for you. It is your own meaning and your own happiness that matter most. (Later, it may be your partner’s happiness, but we are discussing how to identify a partner.) As such, as long as you feel what you say – no matter if it might seem hurtful, vile, or shallow – you should not feel bad about expressing it. If the other person reacts badly, then you are not a good match, and it is far better to find this out sooner rather than later.
Honesty may wound some people, but it is far better than lies in the long run. Never apologize for being honest in matters of personal romance. If you have to let someone down, do not change what you say to spare their feelings – that will only drag things out and make it more painful. I have seen far too many girls who were “too nice” to tell a guy they would never be interested in him early on, turning a minor letdown now into an explosion years later, with the guys feeling hurt and deceived when they finally found out, and the girls not understanding why a guy can’t be cool about it.
If you are interested in someone, and they feel the same way, a lack of honesty will only confuse things. Do they proceed? Do they not proceed? What do your signals mean?
As to the rest of your question, I believe you have yourself a man, as long as you take steps to claim him.
